Sunday April 1st 2012
Do you dream of becoming part of London’s critical elite? Do you yearn to attend exclusive film screenings in London’s fashionable Soho district, where you can sip champagne with Christopher Tookey and listen to Mark Kermode tell a fabulous anecdote about the time he met Paul McCartney? Well then, have we got the opportunity for you!
Ultra Culture is looking for talented young writers to attend advance film screenings of upcoming movies like Battleship, Albert Nobbs and Men in Black 3 and review them, right here on the UK’s eleventh or twelfth most popular movie blog. All you need to participate is the following:
- A valid ID proving that you are at least 18 years of age.
- A working knowledge of all contemporary filmmaking trends.
- A laptop with both Adobe Photoshop CS5 and Microsoft Word.
- A check for £449.95 made payable to Ultra Culture.
Why do we charge an entry fee?
For too long now, profitable movie blogs have had to wade through literally hundreds of unpaid articles in search of the very best exploitable writers. This process takes up valuable time that could be spent finding even more struggling creatives with little sense of their own worth. Our nominal entry fee simply ensures that only the most talented writers are granted the privilege of doing unpaid writing work for Ultra Culture. And don’t worry, once we’ve cashed your cheque we won’t just send you to three or four crappy Danny Dyer movies and then extort thousands of unremunerated words out of you — we’ll also ensure that you’re taken seriously as a film critic, practically guaranteeing you a lifetime of lucrative work in the field of journalism.
All this for just £449.95, you ask? Better apply now before we change our minds!