Exclusive: identities of ‘Keith Lemon’ cast and crew revealed

Friday August 31st 2012


I’ve spent several sleepless nights wrestling with the ethical implications of releasing the following information, but with Keith Lemon: The Film set to break £2 million at the UK box office this weekend, I no longer see any choice in the matter. The individuals listed below pose a very real threat to this country, and if we continue to let them hide away in anonymity there’s no telling what evil they might wreak upon the people of Great Britain next. This information is in the public interest, and as long as this blog remains online, so will the names of the following people, each of whom wilfully aided and abetted Lionsgate in perpetrating Keith Lemon: The Film — one of the most heinous acts of homegrown terrorism in modern British history.

Laura Aikman
Sav Akyüz
Nigel Albermaniche
Philip Alton
Paul Angunawela
Paris Arrowsmith
Jaume Arteman
James Ballard
Andrea Bamford
Theo Barklem-Biggs
Kevin Baulcomb
Emma Berkofsky
László Bille
Kevin Bishop
Damiano Blloshmi
Simon Bosanquet
Andrew Boswell
Stephen Boucher
Alex Boyd
Peter Boyle
Kelly Brook
Logan Bruce
Michael Byrne
Alice Caronna
Una Carroll
David Carson
Simon Changer
Darren Chesney
Aaron Corry
Michelle Cort
Fearne Cotton
Julian Court
Paul Courtenay
Chris Cowlin
Johnny Crawford
Stephen Darragh
Garry Dawson
Fawnda Denham
Gillian Devenney
Jason Devil
Ryan Douglas
Keith Dunne
Aidan Elliott
Lorene Farrugia
Scott Ferguson
Nicola Fletcher
Leigh Francis
Andy Gardner
Tony Gibson
Daniel Gill
Lee Grainge
Fraser Grant
Abigail Hamilton
Glynn Harrison
Tim Harrison
David Hasselhoff
Derek Hehir
Matt Hookings
Rupert Hornstein
James Hosker
Robert Houston
Mark Huffam
Rob Inch
Nadia Iqbal
Rowley Irlam
Jack Ivins
Craig Izzard
Victor Jenkins
Scott Jones
Zygi Kamasa
Robert Karlsson
Kez Keyte
Chonradee Kulthap
Sze-Wun Li Hendry
Brian Livingstone
Natasha Luchmun
Darren Luckin
Seamus Lynch
Chris Lyons
Andrew MacBean
Graeme Mackenzie
Claire Mahoney
Kristyan Mallett Harris
Nick Manzi
Stefano Marchetti
Ian Marrs
Ryan Marshall
Ross McCabe
Stephen McConnell
Tom McCullagh
Dermott McKee
Steve Milne
Rory Moles
Aidan Monaghan
Cathy Mooney
Harold Moss
Ian Neil
Lee Nicholas
Mike Parish
Gareth Parry
Harish Patel
Jateen Patel
Claire Pegorier
Simon Platz
Nicki Pope
Anna Quinn Hyu
Joseph Quinn
Matt Ratcliffe
Matt Ratcliffe Markham
Stuart Read
Jimmy Reddington
Alex Reid
Nick Roberts
Kirsty Robson
Andrew Scattergood
Jonathan Scott
Sean Scott
Keith Shanks
Miriam Skelton
June Smith
Sarah Speers
Alan Stewart
Hamish Storey
Amanda Street
Alexis Strum Griffin
James Stuart
Venetia Suchdev
Tom Swacha
Christian Swain
Jason Swanscott
Tina Tancakova
Keith Thanni
James Tolcher
Gerald Tomkinson
Verne Troyer
Phoebe Vale
Kelly Valentine
Jonny Waite
Martin Walker
Charlie Watson
Hazel Webb-Crozier
Duncan Wheeler
Rob White
Holly Willoughby
Julian Willson
Leila Wong

Home addresses and mobile numbers are in escrow and will be released in the event of a sequel.