Anyone for a game of Sandler James Rock Spade?

Monday March 18th 2013


With a comedy titan like Adam ‘$2.2 billion lifetime gross’ Sandler on board, you can hardly blame the team behind Growns Ups 2 for wanting to go surnames-only on this new teaser poster. Unfortunately for them, some names lend themselves to the superstar treatment more than others.

In the spirit of making the best of a bad situation, here are the rules for Sandler James Rock Spade:

1. James beats Rock

Much like the perennial playground favourite Rock Paper Scissors, this game also sees Rock defeated by something insubstantial and essentially wooden. Hiyoooo! I’m saying that Kevin James isn’t a very good actor.

2. Rock beats Spade

This one is really just basic physics: spades are not an effective method of digging into rock. According to eHow.co.uk, a jackhammer is the most reliable tool for the job, though it is sometimes used in conjunction with a pick axe and shovel.

3. Spade beats Sandler

The spade comes into its own against Adam Sandler, as the only tool capable of sinking even deeper into the ground than the 46-year-old actor. Please note, however, that this relationship is subject to change as Sandler continues to unearth new lows.

4. Sandler beats James

Can you even imagine how quickly the Kevster would be out of work without Happy Madison Productions?