Friday November 22nd 2013
As regular readers will already know, I am extremely excited about the forthcoming Bible-bashing yuletide epic The Christmas Candle. For nearly three months now, I’ve been keeping abreast of developments on the film’s Facebook page, where a regular stream of evangelical image macros are wheeled out to the delight of The Christmas Candles‘s 132,000 baying fans. Each displays a carefully chosen still from the film, overlaid with an inspirational message from the screenplay, its source novel by revered Christian author Max Lucado, or the Bible. Recently, my flatmate Paul has taken to waking me up by shouting a new one through the wall each morning.
Here are ten of my favourites:
Don’t you hate it when God is all, “I know what I’m doing!” Jeez God, proud much?
An inspirational thought from co-star Susan Boyle there.
Yeah, thanks Susan, we get it.
Okay, okay! Fucking hell… no need to shout.
Miracles have never been so terrifying.
There’s an absolutely beautiful synergy of photograph and text in this one.
Cracker joke 101.
As it turns out, the entirety of the bible is one huge acrostic.
The culturally challenged among you may be unaware that the Duggar family have their own reality show in the States, called 19 Kids and Counting. It has been running for seven seasons. Each of their 19 children has a name beginning with J.
So, so true. With God, all things are possible — even the impossible dream of a man in a top hat laboriously pulling a small boy along on a sledge.