Exam is the latest in a long line of British movies that manage to fool the public (and me) into thinking they might actually be good based solely on a snappily cut trailer and a Hollywood-imitating poster.

It was written, directed and produced by a man named Stuart Hazeldine, who also wrote Knowing and The Day The Earth Stood Still (excited yet?). Stuart is a very bad writer, a fairly incompetent director and a complete sadist – why else would he unleash this lame old crap on the general public?

His characters are stolen from Lost (literally), his premise is unbearably idiotic and illogical, and he seems to have solved the problem of an overlong runtime by having his actors race through their dialogue without a single pause or emotion.

Let’s not be too harsh on Stuart though, he’s a modern-day Alfred Hitchcock compared to his cast.

Actual exams are more fun.

[Sorry - that's the kind of sentence Cosmo Landesman would end a review with]