Last-minute warning: Don’t See The Crazies

Friday February 26th 2010

Thanks to an embargo that definitely wasn’t in place simply to postpone inevitably terrible reviews, I’ve had to wait until today to write anything about The Crazies.

It’s another remake of a 70s horror classic and on the quality scale, it’s worse than last year’s Friday the 13th but better than recent flop The Stepfather. It stars Timothy Olyphant (that guy from The Girl Next Door!), Radha Mitchell (whatsername from Melinda and Melinda!) and Danielle Panabaker, who is equally recognisable but mainly because she looks like she’s been genetically engineered from the combined DNA of Rachel Weisz, Winona Ryder and Jennifer Garner:

Anyway, The Crazies is 101 minutes long and about 87 minutes of that is crap. The characters are lifeless, the scares are predictable and the allusions to the Iraq War are even more fucking mad than you’d expect.

Final Verdict: 4/10. Don’t see it.