This Is Also Out Today: Dear John

Wednesday April 14th 2010

There is no better way to experience a movie in London than digitally projected in Odeon West End’s Screen 1, sitting front row centre in seat 19A. Unfortunately, not even circumstance can save Dear John.

It’s yet another movie adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel, so as you’d expect it’s chock-a-block full of taken-as-read romances, implausible conflicts and overly-sincere acoustic music.

Once-talented director Lasse Hallström is definitely counting the cash here, while Amanda Seyfriend, Richard Jenkins and even the less substantial talents of Channing Tatum are wasted on characters even more one-dimensional than the Na’vi folk they so famously supplanted at the box office:

Maybe that’s not quite fair. Seyfried’s character does have one problem: between volunteering for homeless charities and dutifully writing letters to her absent soldier boyfriend, she doesn’t even have time to set up the Summer Camp for autistic children that she dreams of creating. It’s tough being a saint.

Final Verdict: Dear John is 60% letter-writing montages, 40% bizarre freeform ending and 100% fucking awful.
Final Thought #1: In one of his more tenuous coin-based analogies, Tatum states that his ‘ridges have been rimmed’. LOL.
Final Thought #2: This is the first Hollywood movie to utilise 9/11 as a throwaway rom-com plot device. Finally!
Final Thought #3: In spite of everything, this remains one of 2010’s most hilarious cinematic moments: