The Girl on the Train

Monday May 31st 2010

Last Friday I went to see The Girl on the Train, André Téchiné’s critically acclaimed French drama about a teenaged girl who claims to have been the victim of a hate crime, at an early morning screening. There was nobody at the door so I went straight in and waited for it to start.

I was immediately surprised at how gory the film was, and I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t realised it had Adrien Brody in it. I also wasn’t expecting it to be in English, and to focus so heavily on the subject of human cloning.

In case you haven’t guessed it yet, they’d cancelled the screening and forgotten to tell me. I was watching Splice. If you ever find yourself in a similar position, here’s a pocket-sized guide you might want to consider carrying around:

Anyway, Splice. It’s not very good.

It’s stuck somewhere between body-horror and moral allegory, although it’s not particularly scary and it tackles the ethical complexities of human cloning in about as much depth as a Newsround press pack.

And it won’t be winning any awards for feminism: as it turns out, almost everything that’s wrong with the world is down to the emotional instability of women.

Bloody women.