Land of the Narnias: Adventures on a Boat

Friday December 10th 2010


Somehow, three Narnia films have now been made and still nobody seems to have noticed that the entire cast are entirely incompetent. The little girl who looks like Lily Allen, the guy with the annoying hair, her with the enormous lips and, of course, the living incarnation of crap that is Ben Barnes: they’re all incapable of expressing even the slightest of emotions without also making 70% of the audience want to sacrifice themselves to the nearest patch of evil mist.

So thank God (or a lion who is the physical manifestation of God, or something) that Voyage of the Dawn Treader introduces Son of Rambow alumnus Will Poulter (Lee Carter!) into the world of Narnia, and he’s more than willing to show every other cast member exactly how this acting lark is done.

If anything, he’s so much more engaging than the rest of the cast that you end up siding with his supposedly antagonistic character for the best part of the movie. WHY EXACTLY SHOULD WE BELIEVE IN TALKING RATS AND MAGICAL LIONS AND PARALLEL WORLDS? YOU TELL EM WILL! It’s all bullshit anyway.

Someone give him a starring role before I come over there and do it myself.