10 predictions for tonight’s Golden Globes

Sunday January 16th 2011


It’s Sunday the 16th of January and that can mean only one thing: the time has come for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (read: half a dozen fat white men in a room) to choose their favourite movies of last year, throw a big party in LA and then spend all night with sexy famous people who’ll pretend to like them, if only for a couple of hours. As ever, no one really gives a fuck who wins at the Golden Globes, but it’s way more fun than the Oscars so who’s complaining?

Here’s what to expect tonight:

THE SOCIAL NETWORK WILL RIGHTLY WIN BEST PICTURE
Fincher’s latest masterpiece is quite literally Citizen Kane compared with its mind-blowingly predictable competitors: rags to riches sports movie The Fighter, Britishy British drama The King’s Speech, token moneymaker Inception and accessible auteury thing Black Swan. It can’t lose.

RICKY GERVAIS WILL PROBABLY BE QUITE GOOD
Hate him or hate him, you can’t deny that Ricky Gervais is in his element at an awards ceremony, and I’d be surprised if he doesn’t go down quite well tonight. He’s certainly got more LOL-potential than this year’s slightly troubling Oscar pairing of Franco and Hathaway.

BURLESQUE WILL TAKE HOME AN AWARD
Okay, so it might not have much chance against foregone-conclusion The Kids Are All Right in the Best Picture (Musical or Comedy) stakes, but with double noms all the way across the Best Original Song category, Burlesque will not leave empty handed. My money’s on ‘You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me’.
THERE WILL BE SOME KIND OF INCEPTION PARODY
Normally the rest of Hollywood seems to defer to Ben Stiller to do the most obvious movie spoof possible at any given awards bash, but this year I reckon they might try somebody new. I can already see Zach Galifianakis sprinting across the stage shouting about ‘kicks’ and ‘projections’. Oh the hilarity!
EMMA STONE WILL BE A GRACIOUS LOSER
It doesn’t really seem fair that bona fide drama The Kids Are All Right has been allowed into the Comedy category, effectively guaranteeing it a win for Best Supporting Actress (Musical/Comedy) with its one-two punch of Annette Bening and Julianne Moore. Still, expect plenty of cutaways to Emma Stone looking perfectly thrilled to be beaten.
TOY STORY 3 MIGHT JUST WIN BEST ANIMATED FILM
As much as people actually seemed to love Despicable Me and How To Train Your Dragon (seemingly out of astonishment that anyone but Pixar could make a half-decent animated movie), let’s not pretend that Toy Story 3 hasn’t got this one completely wrapped up. I can’t imagine their table will be far from the stage.
THE KING’S SPEECH IS GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED
It may have the Baftas sewn up, but Tom Hooper’s ‘inspirational true life story’ can’t be quite so confident at the Globes. Even their best bet – Colin Firth for Best Actor – is by no means a certainty when he’s up against Jesse ‘so hot right now’ Eisenberg and James ‘what a charming man’ Franco.
THERE WILL BE SOME BRENDAN FRASER ACTION
If the producers have any sense, they’ll get Fraser up to present an award and wheel out the iconic clap he premiered at last year’s show, but at the very least we’re in for a night of endless cutaways to the lovable star in the hope that he’ll do something even a tenth as amazing this time round.
THE NIGHT WILL BE DOMINATED BY FAIRLY JUST WINS
For all the ludicrous nominations (Red? The Tourist!? Alice in Wonderland!?!), almost every category has one very obvious (and pretty deserving) winner in it. This might not make for a very exciting spectacle, but at least it’ll keep Johnny Depp from getting his filthy hands on any kind of prize.
OUR TWITTER FEED WILL BE THE PLACE TO BE
As usual, we’ll be live-tweeting every minute of the ceremony (and the red carpet bbz!) on the @ultraculture Twitter feed. The show starts at 1am on Sky Premiere but if you haven’t got Sky, you might want to keep an eye on Twitter just before it starts. See you at the Globes!