Together we can keep Taylor Lautner out of the UK

Thursday August 18th 2011


Sometimes press releases are just red rags to a bull, and this little beauty that dropped into my inbox yesterday afternoon is exactly that:

‘GET TAYLOR TO THE UK! – FANS TO DECIDE UK APPEARANCE VIA FACEBOOK

London, UK – Lionsgate has today announced that fans will decide on whether Taylor Lautner comes to the UK premiere of his new film ABDUCTION – based on the amount of facebook ‘likes’ he receives at www.facebook.com/abductionmovieuk.

Live from Wednesday 17th August, any fan that ‘likes’ the page and encourages others to will also be added into a draw to win tickets to the UK Premiere of the film – but ONLY if the page receives enough ‘likes’ to entice the star to London.’

Now don’t get me wrong, I haven’t really got anything against Taylor Lautner (although he does seem a bit awful), but there’s something powerfully disingenuous about Lionsgate urging fans to promote their crappy movie for free in exchange for them fulfilling a promotional obligation that was probably a certainty until some social networking ‘expert’ dreamed up this campaign. “What’s that? You’re completely obsessed with the star of our sub-Bourne kiddie thriller, will camp out for days outside our premiere just to get a look at him, and then pay £15 to see the film in cinemas? Well that’s not enough, you now have to get down on your knees AND BEG US to do our fucking jobs and bring Taylor Lautner over for a day or two in order to promote his own movie.”

Note how the website doesn’t even say how many ‘likes’ they’re aiming for, because obviously this campaign can never be allowed to fail (a result which might suggest that actually nobody really cares about Abduction and would rather gouge their eyes out than sit through it). Instead, it simply promises that ‘the more likes on the page, the greater chance that Taylor will fly to the UK for a premiere’. Great. Thanks. I’m on the edge of my seat.

Even better is the flimsy promise at the bottom of the page, suggesting that:

‘You could potentially be rubbing shoulders with him at the premiere!’

That’s two qualifiers in eleven words!

So do me a favour: go the Facebook page for Abduction and see if anybody you know has liked it. And if they have, ask them what the hell they think they’re doing with their lives. Let’s make movie marketing come to us for once.