Tuesday September 1st 2009
I’m sick and tired of paying money to see films at shit cinemas. From now on, all cinemas should have to meet the following standards:
- Screens should always be at least 70% as wide as the auditorium, even when playing 1:1.85 movies.
- There should be little or no light surrounding the screen. At most, an Emergency Exit sign if required by law.
- Everything to the left and right of the screen should be entirely symmetrical.
- There should be no rumbling.
- There should be an unobstructed sight line from every seat in the auditorium.
- A single, even momentary, projection failure or sound error should result in a full refund.
- All seats should be the same price.
- The lights should not come up until the credits are over.
- Any netting over the screen should not be visible, even from the front row.
- Staff should have heard of all films showing.
Basically all cinemas should aim to be like the Odeon West End: