Last month I wrote this:

Triangle is having its world premiere at the London FrightFest next month. If anyone involved is reading this, I would appreciate an invitation.

Amazingly enough readers, it actually happened and off we went on Thursday night to the world premiere of shit director Christopher Smith’s surprisingly unshit-looking new film.

There wasn’t a red carpet (sorry to get your hopes up) so we just went straight in. The crowd looked like this:

They were pretty much exactly as you’d imagine them to be, given that they’ve paid large sums of money to watch obscure horror films all weekend. A lot of people were dressed in white, including Andy Nyman who we saw a few rows behind us and also this chap:

Christopher Smith was there and he was surrounded by fans (read: idiots). You can just about make him out in this photo:

That concludes the visual section of today’s review. Now, for the review.

THE BIG REVIEW
Triangle is easily Christopher Smith’s best film. It is also completely rubbish. If you’ve seen the spoiler-heavy trailer then you’ve already ruined the few good moments in the film, and the rest is just mundane. And repetitive. And predictable. And crap.

In the introduction, Mr. Smith told us that he spent 4 years writing Triangle. Let’s hope we have a longer wait before his next effort. ZING!