Screening Report: Watchmen

Thursday February 26th 2009

Yesterday night I went to see Watchmen. Here are the deets:

My night began at the Tesco Metro on Haymarket, a fantastic place full of reasonable prices and amazing products. It also has THE BEST IMPLEMENTED SELF-CHECKOUT SYSTEM IN THE WORLD, capable of servicing the needs of up to 20 people at any one time. This is great because a) even at rush hour you don’t have to queue for more than about a minute and b) there are never any old people in there who don’t understand computers and take forever.

Incidentally, here’s a woman who thought it was hilarious to jump into shot as I took the photo:

WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?!?!

I bought some provisions for the movie (162 minutes) and secreted them about my person. The Red Bull went in the inside jacket pocket whilst the wine gums popped in the flappy back pocket of my jeans.

Next stop: glorious Leicester Square, the heart of [etc etc etc]

I’d like to thank Marc, Kate, Stuart, Dany and another man I’ve forgotten the name of (sorry!) for helping me to get into the screening, although by the time I got the invite, it was only seconds before my camera was confiscated, leaving me with only my crappy camera phone for this incredibly vital and journalistically valid photograph:

Then they took my phone as well.

I went and sat down. Where did I sit down, you ask? Here mo’fucker:

Best seat in the house obv. Close enough to not even be distracted by the EXIT signs. What I could see however was the mahoosive great camera they had set up at the side pointing at the audience. Presumably this was just to stop piracy, but I still hold out some hope that I’m going to end up in one of those ‘REAL AUDIENCE REACTION!’ tv ads.

Anyway, the movie was pretty good, as you can see from my Twitter coverage:

Screening Report: Friday the 13th

Thursday February 12th 2009

So I went to see Friday the 13th last night. What follows is ‘the coverage’…

  1. We got there very early because there was unusually little traffic coming up Sloane Street.
  2. We went to Pret A Manger to pass the time. Because we’re ponces.
  3. The movie starts with all the studio logos in red. Like blood I suppose.
  4. People are penetrated by sharp instruments in several places but nowhere that’s really pushing the envelope, like the ear lobes or the skin between the toes.
  5. As for nudity, let’s just say that those two guys above aren’t the only pair of tits in the movie.
  6. I thought of that joke on the way home.
  7. At one point, a character who had dropped his gun in a lake and was scrabbling about for it said ‘Where are you, gun?’ and there was a wave of Ironic Film Critic Laughter.
  8. It was a very good length, just a bit over 90 minutes.
  9. It’s got that guy who plays ‘the friend’ in Disturbia and ‘the friend’ in Nick and Norah in it.
  10. They didn’t show the Inglourious Basterds trailer in the end, but it is up on Apple now so you can have a look at it there in glourious HD. You should, it’s watch-twice good.

SO GOOD WE PRINT SCREENED.