Fan Review: New Moon

Tuesday November 24th 2009


Sorry, did I say New Moon? I obviously meant The Twilight Saga: New Moon.

We put a request out the other day for a Twilight obsessive who would be willing to write us a massively positive review of New Moon whether or not they actually liked it. It didn’t take long to find one.

A man named Paul wrote in to tell us about his RPattz-loving wife Libby (unlike us, she’s a card-carrying member of Team Jacob), assuring us that she could undoubtedly provide the glowing review we needed. As if that weren’t enough, Paul’s e-mail had one of the best subject lines OF ALL TIME:

Pure brilliance.

Him and Libby went off to see the film on Friday night and here’s what she had to say:

If youre a fellow Twi-hard, your enjoyment in this film is swayed in whether youre team edward or team jacob.

if youre team jacob, you long for many more scenes of him walking topless and buff in the rain, and pine for the moment that he and Bella get together ( I wonder if they would do it Doggy style?)

But if youre team Edward, the brief hallucinatory glimpses of him after his self imposed exile throughout will keep you going till towards the end in very tense and brilliantly directed scene as Bella races to him in Italy…

This film is much more involving and the character relationships are much more complex. and, Jacob being most interesting as his is the only developing character arc in this film. Bella loves both but with Edward we have the ageing/ immortal angle and with Jacob, i guess theres an issue with whether he can protect her and not become a possible threat to her, the more hot headed he becomes.

It does feel a little like a ‘filler’ film, all long talks and longing stares until kicks up a gear or two for the final half of the saga. But it opens the Twilight world up as we see the Michael Sheen- led Volturi, and the ‘pack’ that Jacob runs with. And is not without its heartstopping moments, including a fantastically shot Slo-mo chase between a rogue vamp and the wolf pack through the forest set to Thom Yorke’s ‘Hearing Damage’.

A little disappointing as it doesnt live up to first film (something that could be a soul-crushing affair for fellow twi-hards) but as a a second chapter with two more to go, it sets up a promise that is as palpable as the first time we saw the end of the first matrix.

and the soundtrack kicks ass too. Oh, and I’m Team Jacob by the way.

Thoughts: suitably long but surprisingly balanced. Congrats!


Another nail in the coffin for Ultra Culture: Vice has a film blog

Tuesday November 24th 2009


If you read their Film Issue back in September then you’ll know that this is very good news.

Check it out, check out what it’s all about.

P.S. Sorry it’s all a bit quiet on the Western Front at the moment. We’ll be back in full effect tomorrow.


10 Years Later and still no Blu-ray release

Monday November 23rd 2009


It’s been 10 fucking years since the release of the first Pokémon movie, aptly title Pokémon: The First Movie. I think all movies should use titles that unequivocally state whether or not they’re going to have sequels. If Gore Verbinski had made Pirates of the Carribean: The First And Only Good Movie In A Trilogy That’s Mostly Boring and Over-Long, I might not have bothered investing my time in it.

Pokémon: The First Movie however, was and presumably still is, a masterpiece. Even if critics did call it ‘incoherent’, ‘unsavoury’ and ‘mind-numbingly tedious’. And sure, I may have been a child when it came out, and I may have been more excited by the prospect of the free Pokémon card that came with admission than I was by the film itself, but I refuse to believe that Pokémon: The First Movie is any less incredible than I remember it being.

And I’d buy it on Blu-ray in a second. Just imagine this in glorious 1080p:

BEST BIT:

0:55 – Venusaur says ‘baaaaaa’.


The Key to Success: Insert Drew Barrymore, Use the Photoshop ‘Stroke’ function a few times and stick on the crappest little yellow star you can find.

Sunday November 22nd 2009


Have we jumped the shark?


New Avatar poster begs the question: What the fuck is it with blue and orange?

Saturday November 21st 2009



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