There Are Two More

Sunday March 28th 2010

That last one isn’t even a pun.

A depressing subject line

Sunday March 28th 2010

So I got this e-mail on Friday. It was announcing the arrival of four new posters for Shrek Forever After and also contained the word…

Shrek-tacular

Gah.

The posters themselves are unsurprisingly pun-filled, as you can see from these first two, in which humour is derived from implying the words ‘fuck’ and ‘bitches’ in posters for a movie aimed at toddlers:

‘A laugh riot’.

The next two are more abstract and in fact, I don’t even understand the last one, so holla at me if you can explain it:

Eat your heart out, Pixar.

This week in voluntarily censored movie releases

Saturday March 27th 2010

I know we said we wouldn’t do too many more BBFC-related posts, but we thought this was at least worth a mention. More and more often we’re starting to see this message on the BBFC’s website:

During post-production, the distributor sought and was given advice on how to secure the desired classification. Following this advice, certain changes were made prior to submission.

It’s a slightly more polite way of saying that the film has been cut (and one that fits in more neatly with the BBFC’s new anti-censorship image) but it’s interesting to see the extent to which filmmakers are willing to alter their films to tap into a specific market. This week alone, two films have undergone the process…

Contains infrequent strong language, moderate sex and violence, and smoking

A surprising amount of naughty stuff actually made it through here, including but not limited to: two fucks; some bitch’s, pricks, pussys and wankers; a ‘discreetly portrayed’ sex scene; a murder (bloodless) and some ‘frequent smoking’.

Removed from the film in order to achieve a 12A rating were a ‘strong verbal sex reference’ to ‘being sodomised’ and ‘a scene of strong violence in which the hero continues to beat a man who has already been knocked to the ground’.

It seems slightly hypocritical to disallow a clinical word like ‘sodomised’ while letting through slang expletives like ‘fuck’, ‘prick’ and ‘pussy’. And surely the beating of the man on the ground (removed presumably because it’s not ‘sportsmanlike’) isn’t quite as bad as an actual murder?

Contains suicide theme and strong sex references

Chatroom is a very ‘contemporary’ movie about online interaction, specifically amongst teenagers. The BBFC are being quite brave here, allowing through several depictions of suicide, self-harming and paedophiliac online sex chats. Basically, it’s like Chatroulette: The Movie.

Interestingly, Chatroom was sent to the BBFC ‘at the script stage’. They deemed that the film was likely to be passable at 15, but made the following suggestions:

• ‘scenes featuring child actors should not be filmed in such a way as to sexualise the performers.’
• ‘scenes featuring suicides should be kept discreet and novel detail which could be copied should be avoided.’
• ‘[some] specific lines of sexual dialogue should be removed or changed.’

Should the BBFC really be getting involved in script development and making creative decisions about the way a movie is shot?

It’s times like this that a ‘comments’ features would be handy.

Great Post: A 3D reel viewer from Disney

Friday March 26th 2010

Yesterday morning I received a couriered (YES COURIERED) package from Disney. Inside was a retro 3D reel viewer containing a reel of 3D Alice in Wonderland slides, along with a note promising ‘updated reels of our 3D films throughout the year’.

Sometimes everything just comes up roses.

Rewind: ‘Blindness’

Friday March 26th 2010

A lot of stuff we wrote before The Great Re-Design of March 09 has vanished into the ether somewhat, so we’ve decided to start re-posting some of it occasionally. You know, for kicks. Here’s a review of Blindness:

Brazilian director Fernando Meirelles [City of God, The Constant Gardener] is tired of making good films and has decided to make a bad one. Based on the novel by José Saramago, Blindness documents the impact of a sudden epidemic of instant blindness on an unnamed American city. As the ruthlessly enforced quarantine keeps the victims isolated and helpless, society’s moral and social boundaries are pushed to their limits etc. etc. etc.

It’s shocking and powerful stuff, but Meirelles’ film is also fucking stupid when it wants to be, relying on forced logic and tired social commentary for much of its impact. Would two weeks of blindness turn a randomly selected group of men into remorseless, murdering rapists? Would a blind Mark Ruffalo have an affair in the quarantined building knowing that his wife, the only sighted person amongst the victims, is in the next room? And hasn’t Gael Garcia Bernal got too much boyish charm to pass as a convincing villain?

On the other hand, it’s nice to see that Hollywood is once again reaching into the Danny Glover Compartment, even if his occasional voiceover screams ‘Poor Man’s Morgan Freeman’ so loudly that it’s hard to take him seriously.

Rent it.

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