Lars Von Trier update: He’s still Lars Von Trier

Thursday April 28th 2011

[From a promotional photo for Melancholia, which premieres at Cannes in May.]

Calling all young mums from Leeds!

Thursday April 28th 2011

Chances are you’ve already heard about the scuffle that erupted last month when Icon announced that it would be releasing Terrence Malick’s perpetually-postponed family drama The Tree of Life in the UK on May 4th, ahead of its Cannes premiere. US distributor Summit Entertainment subsequently took legal action against Icon, forcing them to delay the release until after Cannes, but not before a few of the more pompous American critics had had their say on the matter. And critics don’t get much more pompous than this guy:

His name is Jeffrey Wells and he runs Hollywood Elsewhere (me neither). And if you think his byline photo screams cunt then wait until you get a load of his writing.

Responding to Empire’s Helen O’Hara, who broke the story back in April, Jeffrey writes:

What a shocker if true! Years of waiting and all this delay, and the Cannes booking of The Tree of Life not even confirmed and it all might all come down to a commercial opening in England? A young mom in Leeds who can’t afford a babysitter will be able to take her two kids to an afternoon showing of The Tree of Life at the local plex before the Cannes elite has a looksee? No, no…that’s too much, too ridiculous. It can’t be true.

The emphases are his own.

Obviously, as a stickler for geographical accuracy, I would first point out to Jeffrey that England and the UK are not one and the same, but for some reason people seem to be more upset about his attitude towards ‘young moms’. I mean, give the guy a break, he’s only implying that women who have kids and happen to live in Leeds are by definition less worthy of watching a movie than a David Hasselhoff tribute act an esteemed member of the press. And the rest of his ‘elite’ of course.

So in the interest of balance, I’m looking for a young mum from Leeds (shall we say 23 or under?) who’s interested in seeing the film when it finally makes it into UK cinemas this summer. I’ll pay for two tickets on the condition that you write me a brief review (100 words or so) afterwards. Then I’ll compare it with his review and see who’s got the more interesting viewpoint.

Does you or someone you know fulfil these requirements? Let me know.

(Warning: despite what Jeffrey Wells says, the attendance of children will be subject to BBFC certification.)

First set photo from The Avengers, fixed.

Wednesday April 27th 2011

Five comedy tropes that need to stop, courtesy of the Change-Up trailer

Tuesday April 26th 2011

The Change-Up is an upcoming comedy written by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore (The Hangover) and directed by David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers, Fred Claus). It stars Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman as dissimilar friends who get a chance to lead each other’s lives when a magical body swap occurs. The film appears to get most of its comedy mileage from a variety of ‘while the cat’s away’ scenarios, with a few gross-out moments thrown in for good measure, so unsurprisingly it looks quite a lot like Hall Pass. Everything about it sums up what’s wrong with comedy in 2011, but here are five things in particular that badly need to be KILLED WITH FIRE…

THE FUCKING BODY SWAP CONCEIT
If there’s a movie premise more tired than the body swap then I have yet to hear it (maybe getting engaged to the wrong guy and then realising you’re actually in love with your supposedly platonic best friend, but it’s a close call). We’ve had swaps based on age (Freaky Friday), gender (It’s a Girl/Boy Thing) and even profession (Face/Off), and those are just the good entries in the genre. Then again, I will give The Change-Up props for forgoing an oh-so-hilarious scene where both guys wake up in each other’s bodies and immediately inspect the size of their penises. Or at least they haven’t put it in the trailer.

LESLIE MANN AS ‘THE WIFE’
Obviously we all like Leslie Mann, and I get that Judd Apatow thinks it’s cute to cast his wife as ‘the wife’ in all his movies, but it’s a shame that she’s become such a go-to for occasionally funny but mostly disapproving ‘other halves’ because, you know, there’s an outside chance she’s actually good at facial expressions other than this one.

LISTS OF UNLIKELY SEXUAL POSITIONS
Quick! We need to illustrate that Ryan Reynolds’ character is sexually adventurous without actually bothering to develop him beyond a lifeless archetype! Somebody load up Urban Dictionary! Never mind that the joke wears thin after the second or third jaw-drop reaction-shot of Jason Bateman, if we can name-check enough obscure, physically-impossible or completely invented sexual positions, we can finally become this generation’s Farrelly Brothers.

THE IDEA THAT POO IS FUNNY
This might not be a popular opinion, but I maintain that poo jokes are – by definition – not really that funny. Even supposed classics of the genre (the broken toilet scene in Dumb and Dumber) are a bit ropey when you actually sit down and watch them. In The Change-Up, we’re treated to the old ‘women poo too’ joke, which has somehow become even more predictable than its male counterpart. And if you think it’s lame enough now as a 12-second trailer denouement, just you wait for the hideously extended version we can expect in the final film.

ANY COMBINATION OF THE WORDS ‘MEET’ AND ‘DAVE’
We all remember what happened the first time around.

Finally: Fight For Your Right Revisited

Monday April 25th 2011

Wanna see a short film starring Elijah Wood, Seth Rogen, Susan Sarandon, Stanley Tucci, Rashida Jones, Will Arnett, Adam Scott, Mike Mills, Rainn Wilson, Arabella Field, Ted Danson, Roman Coppola, Shannyn Sossamon, Steve Buscemi, Amy Poehler, Mary Steenburger, Alicia Silverstone, Laura Dern, Arthur Africano, Alfredo Ortiz, Milo Ventimiglia, Jody Hill, Silvia Suvadova, Jason Schwartzman, Losel Yauch, Chloe Sevigny, Kirsten Dunst, Maya Rudolph, Clint Caluory, David Cross, Orlando Bloom, Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Jack Black, Martin Starr and the Beastie Boys?

(Oh, and Danny McBride, but let’s try not to focus on that, shall we?)