I went to see Get Him to the Greek last weekend at a real cinema full of real human beings. It was surreal. Not only because there were people actually paying for movies but also because, despite a 73% on Rotten Tomatoes, the film is patently crap.

Sure, it’s got a lot of funny moments, most of them down to the chemistry between Jonah Hill and Russell Brand (who, as much as I don’t want him to be good, is very good) but Get Him to the Greek is a total mess of a movie, jumping around from one idea to the next as it desperately tries to re-create what made Forgetting Sarah Marshall good.

Where Marshall had the effortless taboo breaking of Jason Segel’s fully-exposed penis, Greek throws in scene after scene of supposedly shocking antics which after a while, far from being surprised by, you’re actively expecting. Where the clips from Hollywood gossip shows, TV dramas and music videos slotted perfectly into Marshall, telling us more about the characters in an original and often hilarious way, Greek feels the need to open with about twenty minutes of uninterrupted montage, which gets old fast.

Stylistically, it’s obviously a Japatow production but feels like a bit of a step back from Funny People, in terms of both confidence and maturity. It’s attitude to its female characters makes the notoriously women-hating Knocked Up look like some kind of feminist manifesto.

It’s a shame too, because any film with a montage of London signposts is normally OK in my book.

Yes, our Scott Pilgrim vs. The World Opening Night Celebration sold out fast. If you weren’t one of the lucky few who got tickets, DON’T PANIC. More tickets may still be released. If you’re not already on the mailing list, that’s where you want to be.

And even if you can’t get in to the film, don’t forget that the party will continue on into the early hours in the ICA bar, with even more exciting events, giveaways and sexy, sexy alcohol. All are welcome, ticket or no ticket. We hereby promise you won’t get a better offer on opening night.

Peace out, pilgrims.

If the torrent of Comic-Con tweets is getting you down, rest assured there’s something infinitely more exciting happening on these fair shores in the not so distant future.

THAT’S RIGHT, I’m talking about Ultra Culture Cinema #04: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and tickets are now on sale! Here’s how you can get your big sexy hands on them:

Due to high demand, ticket purchases will be limited to 2 per person. We might stretch to 3 if you’re Michael Cera or something. Maybe.

We didn’t dedicate a lot of bandwidth to last year’s Film4 FrightFest. To be honest, it’s not really our thing. But a certain subset of the population seem to get very excited about it, so I thought it would be worth a small mention on this fine Friday morning. The following films are showing at this year’s festival, which runs from 26th to the 30th of August at the Empire Leicester Square:

THURSDAY 26TH AUGUST 6.30 - Hatchet 2 9.15 – Primal 11.15 – Dead Cert	[No films showing]
FRIDAY 27TH AUGUST 11:00 – Eggshells 1:00 – Texas Chain Saw Massacre 3:00 – Total Icon Tobe Hooper 5:00 - Isle of Dogs 7:15 - F 9:25 – Red Hill 11:30 - Alien vs. Ninja	FRIDAY 27TH AUGUST 10:45 – Burning Bright 12:45 – The Clinic 3:00 – Finale 5:00 – Wound 7:15 – Outcast 9:45 – Higanjima: Escape from Vampire Island
SATURDAY 28TH AUGUST 11:00 – Cherry Tree Lane 1:15 – The Tortured 3:15 – 13 HRS 6:30 – I Spit on Your Grave 9:00 – Monsters 11:30 – Dream Home	SATURDAY 28TH AUGUST 11:00 – Christopher Roth 1:15 – Fanboys 3:30 – After.Life 6:35 – Finale 9:00 – Burning Bright
SUNDAY 29TH AUGUST 11:00 – The Pack 1:00 – Andy Nyman’s Quiz from Hell + Short Film Showcase 4:00 – We Are What We Are 6:30 – Kaboom 9:00 – A Serbian Film 11:30 – The Loved Ones	SUNDAY 29TH AUGUST 11:00 – Higanjima: Escape from Vampire Island 1:30 – Outcast 4:05 - Wound 6:35 - Amer 9:05 - The Clinic
MONDAY 30TH AUGUST 11:15 – Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship and Videotape 1:15 – The Dead 3:30 – Bedevilled 6:30 – Red White & Blue 9:00 – The Last Exorcism	MONDAY 30TH AUGUST 11:00 – Amer 1:30 – After.Life 3:35 – Fanboys 6:35 – Christopher Roth

Most of those titles mean very little to me, but inevitably quite a few will probably make their mark across the next 12 months.

Last year’s token controversial offering was The Human Centipede, so the organisers will be looking to step it up a notch with an even controversial-er choice. That choice could well be A Serbian Film which, from what I’ve heard of its content, sounds unlikely to be passed uncut even by the increasingly liberal BBFC. Maybe check it out if that’s ‘your thing’ but personally I think I’ll steer clear.

I’d be more interested to know which title will turn out to be this year’s House of the Devil (which showed at last year’s fest long before it made it big on the blogosphere). Any one of the dozens of movies on offer could be the hidden gem waiting to be discovered beneath the mountain of proverbial rubble.

My guess: it won’t be Alien vs. Ninja.