Wednesday November 13th 2013
Above is the American DVD art for The Expelled, a ropey British horror movie released in the UK a few years back under the entirely Google-proof title F. On the bottom of the artwork you’ll note a superlative quote from revered horror blog Bloody Disgusting, describing the film as ‘one of the all time best … slasher films’.
When it comes to poster quotes, ellipses are never a good sign, so I thought I’d look up the original text for the sake of comparison. Here it is in all its unexpurgated glory:
‘F can also boast being one of the all time best high school set slasher films. Granted that’s not exactly the highest praise (Yay, you’re better than Slaughter High and Cutting Class! So are most infomercials), but the bar for such things is set so low that I wasn’t expecting much out of the film anyway.’
A glowing endorsement, I’m sure you’ll agree.
Tuesday November 12th 2013
This steamy production still, which handily implies nudity without actually showing any.
Opening paragraph detailing Blue Is The Warmest Colour‘s troubled production history. This should read somewhat like the minutes of a grand jury trial against Abdellatif Kerchiche.
The writer affects an above-it-all, it’s-the-art-that-really-matters stance on the subject, while also milking the scandal for all it’s journalistically worth.
“Quote comparing the experience of starring in Blue Is The Warmest Colour to that of having one’s legs hacked off with a rusty meat cleaver” — Léa Seydoux
Self-consciously clinical description of the film’s ‘infamous’ sex scenes, followed by a series of pun-laden cracks (*snigger*) designed to sidestep the inherent discomfort of talking openly about sexual intercourse.
Inadvertent admission that the writer was aroused for a considerable portion of the film’s runtime.
An embedded video in which four American women are trotted out like circus animals to speak on behalf of the world’s lesbians.
The sudden realisation that, six paragraphs in, the writer has failed to actually comment on the movie whatsoever, followed by a last-ditch root through the thesaurus in search of synonyms for ‘passionate’.
Wednesday October 30th 2013
Documentary isn’t a genre, it’s a form, and only just. Insist as Netflix might, it’s just not fair to bundle together The Pervert’s Guide to Ideology, Muscle Shoals and Project Wild Thing under the vague banner of documentary, in the same way that you’d bundle Thor 2, Iron Man 3 and The Dark Knight Rises together under the banner of
films that are a bit shit superhero movies. There’s more to documentary than that. Case in point: Michel Gondry’s delightfully unusual new ‘animated conversation’ with Noam Chomsky, Is The Man Who Is Tall Happy?
Based on two conversations the director had with Chomsky in 2010, Gondry’s film is comprised entirely of his own Bolex 16mm animations — many of which were completed during his evenings off filming The Green Hornet. So at least something good came of that. It looks completely beautiful and I will now submit 11 pieces of evidence to support my findings.
Thursday October 17th 2013
Director Michael Bay and the cast and crew of “Transformers: Age of Extinction” completed their first day of production in Hong Kong today October 17, 2013, after four and a half months of filming in Arizona, Utah, Texas, Michigan, Illinois and Washington state since late May. Contrary to several erroneous news reports made today, Bay did not get hurt in a fight on set. The production company did have a bizarre encounter with a man (allegedly under the influence of a narcotic substance) who was wielding an air conditioning unit as a weapon. The man, who had earlier accosted several other crew members, rushed onto the set in Quarry Bay and swung the air conditioning unit directly at Bay’s head. The director ducked and wrested the air conditioner from his attacker, preventing what could have been a serious accident. The company’s security team quickly stepped in and subdued the assault. The police, who also scuffled with the assailant and two of his companions, ultimately arrested the three men. No one on the cast or crew was injured and the production immediately resumed filming without further incident.
— via The New York Times.
Tuesday October 15th 2013
… I just knew how nice it would look against a white background.